


#metgala

by YourPalYourBuddy



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, M/M, Meet-Cute, Met Gala, One Shot, POV Alternating, Twitter, depending on how you look at it, meet ugly, or - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 07:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18752203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourPalYourBuddy/pseuds/YourPalYourBuddy
Summary: Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 30 sec agoSomeone PLEASE tell@jlzimmermanna black suit is not the #metgala outfit we deserve from himEric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 25 sec agoThat boy’s ass is doing ALL the heavy lifting and you all know it_______________Zimbits inspired by @shitty-check-please-aus: "not really an AU suggestion bc sad to say it could def happen; Jack Zimmermann goes with his parents to the Met Gala and he wears a plain black suit. He meets Bitty after Bitty spends three hours complaining about his outfit on Twitter"





	#metgala

**Author's Note:**

> [Here's a link to the prompt :)](https://shitty-check-please-aus.tumblr.com/post/184721037510/not-really-an-au-suggestion-bc-sad-to-say-it-could#notes)

________________________

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 30 sec ago**

Someone PLEASE tell **@jlzimmermann** a black suit is not the #metgala outfit we deserve from him

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 25 sec ago**

That boy’s ass is doing ALL the heavy lifting and you all know it

 

“Bitty,” Ransom says. Bitty dodges his attempts to take away his phone, still typing furiously. “Dude. You gotta cool it.”

Bitty sends off the last tweet almost angrily, waving his hands at the TV. “Justin Oluransi I consider you to be, beside myself, the best dresser in SMH history—”

“I resent that,” Holster says mildly. Bitty pauses to shoot him a beautifully disdainful look that’s totally wasted on the fact that Holster’s preoccupied with wiping Cheeto-covered fingers on the couch. Another reason they should light the thing on fire.

The camera pans to another shot of the Alicia Zimmermann looking sharp-jawed and gorgeous in completely outrageous, googly-eye covered Versace look. An interviewer exclaims over Alicia’s gown, commenting on the delightful sound the dress makes when she walks.

“You really have an eye for fashion,” the interviewer comments, and Alicia laughs.

She says, winking, “I’m a good pupil.”

 

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 45 sec ago**

Look I get post Stanley Cup blues hit hard but Alicia’s literally out here wearing, like. Half of Jo-Ann’s googly-eye stock for the entire year and her son looks like THAT

 

“Do you not see this?” Bitty says as the camera focuses on Bad Bob’s Stanley Cup outfit. He has another sip of wine. “Even Bad Bob went off. He _never_ goes off.”

“I’ll admit it’s kinda bland,” Ransom says placatingly. “But. Bitty. You’re blowing up this guy’s mentions, he’s already just lost the playoffs, it’s kinda incredible he’s out anyway right?”

Holster munches on what sounds like an entire bowl of Cheetos. “Yeah. He doesn’t really go out much.”

Well. Bitty does feel kind of bad for that, then. But still. “All the more reason he should’ve had a better outfit,” he says. He scans the TV for another glimpse of Beyoncé. She’s never disappointed him like this.

 

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 1 min ago**

Maybe it’s good **@jlzimmermann** looks like he’s going to a funeral bc he killed me and not in a good way

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 50 sec ago**

Not even a gratuitous ass shot could save us now (but it can’t hurt to try) ( **@CNN** )

____________

 

_Bzzt bzzt._

Jack pats his pocket, smiling apologetically at the interviewer as he ducks into a quieter corner. This is at least the fifth time it’s gone off in the last ten minutes, and honestly, he appreciates the break. Though he has no idea why it’s happening now.

His lock screen says he has about fifty Twitter notifications. Frowning, he opens his phone, tapping through the app. He doesn’t really know how to use it at the best of times, but it looks like someone — **@omgcheckplease** ? — _really_ doesn’t like what he’s wearing tonight.

It strikes him that he just lost in game seven of round three of the Cup playoffs, and his mentions have never been this active after a game.

The icon is a smiling blond man who looks too cheerful to have recently written “Jack Zimmermann’s face isn’t good enough to pull off this monstrosity and y’all know it pains me to say it.” You’d think he murdered someone just by showing up.

Then he comes across the most recent set of tweets and, yeah, maybe he did.

It gives him an idea, though. He scans the crowd for the familiar red and white logo.

____________

 

The TV screen is suddenly filled corner to corner with Jack Zimmermann’s glorious, glorious ass.

“Oh my god,” Bitty says faintly.

He’s going numb, he can’t take this — take back every rude thing he said about his outfit, he needs a fan, he’s going to pass _the fuck_ out, this is too much. Somewhere in the background Ransom and Holster argue over whether Ransom’s ass could rival Jack’s in size. Privately Bitty agrees with Holster, Ransom’s ass _is_ shockingly large, but right now Bitty’s too busy dying to make a coherent statement.

 

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 13 sec ago**

**@CNN** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 10 sec ago**

That’s it y’all I can’t

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 7 sec ago**

Like. **@jlzimmermann** ’s suit is still objectively TERRIBLE. Absolutely AWFUL. I WILL die on this hill

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 4 sec ago**

But I’m big enough to admit it didn’t HURT

 

Onscreen, the interviewer says something and Jack laughs. Bitty doesn’t process what they’re saying, too shocked by _ass_ to focus on anything else, until Ransom shouts “DUDE.”

“What?”

He and Holster fist bump gleefully. Holster says, “Bro, they’re talking about you.”

_“What?”_

Bitty frantically shushes them in time to hear the interviewer say, “Care to give us an explanation?”

Jack flashes his phone screen in front of the camera and it’s like a check to the boards when Bitty catches a glimpse of his Twitter profile. Jack Zimmermann is looking at _his_ bio. Is reading all the tweets about his hideous outfit.

This must be what people mean when they say they feel like they’ve been hit by a train.

“Well,” Jack’s saying. Bitty should’ve included “gratuitous accent moment” in that tweet too; it may be just the shock, but he sounds gorgeous. “I’ve disappointed someone on Twitter with my outfit choice, but apparently a, euh. ‘Gratuitous ass shot’ could go a long way toward helping that.”

“I think I saw some of those tweets, how do you feel about them?”

Bitty’s phone starts buzzing in his hands. He glances at it briefly; it’s a lot of new followers and a slew of likes and retweets on his Jack tweets.

He’s going to _die._

Jack seems to consider the question. It’s kind of annoying how handsome he looks up close when not considering what he’s wearing. “I think he has a fair point. Both about how plain this is and the fact that my ass is carrying this outfit.” Jack shrugs, his expression seemingly playful. “He has a lot of good chirps. Could’ve used him on the bench the other night.”

The conversation naturally flows into hockey talk, the interviewer stumbling through questions about the game — Bitty would put money on hockey questions being rather unexpected tonight — and Jack answers them easily enough. He looks incredibly pleased with himself.

Bitty thinks he’s touching his phone like he’s expecting a notification.

“Bits, what’re you waiting for?” Holster asks. He wipes his hand on the couch again before sharing another fist bump with Ransom. “Had no idea this was gonna be this entertaining, thanks for making us watch this.”

Ransom says, “Seconded,” and Bitty feels their eyes on him as he types out another tweet.

 

**Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) - 30 sec ago**

Glad we’re in agreement, **@jlzimmermann**. DM me if you want ideas for next year’s #metgala, I think the two of us could work something out.

 

Seconds after he posts it, he sees this: _@jlzimmermann is now following you!_

Almost immediately after that, he gets this:

 

 **@jlzimmermann:** You’re on

 **@jlzimmermann:** Can we talk about it over coffee?

 

“Holy _shit,”_ Ransom says over his shoulder. Bitty privately agrees, his hands shaking.

 

 **@omgcheckplease:** Only if you promise to never wear that godawful suit ever again

 **@jlzimmermann:** Deal

 **@jlzimmermann:** It’s a date

________________________

**Author's Note:**

> This was silly and fun and I hope y'all enjoyed it :) Thanks for reading!  
> I'm on tumblr, [come say hi! :)](http://ivecarvedawoodenheart.tumblr.com)


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